A Letter to My Friend

Dearest Essay,

    Well, what can I say. We all knew you were coming. Yet we still dread it every year. I'm sorry you have to be the victim of such violent discrimination. I know it probably hurts a lot when some of us tear up papers and talk about you badly. I can only imagine the emotional toll of high school students all sighing in sync when the topic of you comes up. I want you to know it's not you, it's... just the fact that you're a little... high maintenance.

   I mean, take it from our point of view: we have to actually think when we write you. Like think about it: a hook, a theses, three arguments, introductory sentences, concluding sentences, a profound ending... It's just a lot to deal with buddy. Some of us just don't want to spend that much time with you. We'd rather go on the internet to search up funny videos of cats. Again I'm sorry.

    But it's not that we don't appreciate you! You are quite useful - we'll all probably end up having to write an essay later on in life (for university, for scholarship applications) and so our relationship is quite precious. It's nice that you're so structured and organized. If I were to write everything that passed through my mind in the order it came to me, the world would be confused. I'll be the first to admit that my brain is very hard to follow. My mind: a very scary, scary place. It's nice that you balance me out, you know?

    It's just the topics that kill me. Write about injustices in our world? About the environment? About children who are dying in Africa of starvation because people in this world are incredibly selfish..........*continues to rant*..........? (15 minutes later) That'd be great. I'd have a lot (a lot) to say. But write about the English language? About verses from Shakespeare? About video game technology? (No offence to all the gamers out there.) Please save me. There's just no depth. I can't go into much detail about those topics. It's just not my passion, I can't try to convince someone to love or hate something I feel nothing for. I'd rather run a 5 kilometre marathon. And that says a lot. Trust me when I say that when I choose physical exertion over a written assignment, I'm desperate. All those gym classes are behind me. I never again want to publicly humiliate myself by tripping up the stairs, by scoring on my own net or by running in the opposite direction during a mass marathon (not that it actually happened before...)

    All in all, I really do love you. All those haters out there, they just haven't realized your potential yet. Just be a little easier on them okay? And don't take it too personally. You'll always have me.

I'm sure we'll be in contact for the following couple of years (yay for post-secondary education). I'll always be your loyal friend.

Love,
Rebecca